The body of Anu is lying on the cemented cold floor. It is quite an old floor. The dirty bricks are protruding from the floor in different places. Somewhere the surface is high and somewhere it is low and somewhere uneven. Few people are sitting at different corners.There is no sign of movement in them; it seems they are on a long vacation. Meanwhile she found the name of the `dome’ (a person from lower caste), the name is Nepal dome. His face has the feature of a person from Garo tribe. Sitting at the door of the room Nepal Dome is blowing bidi after bidi. His eyes are blood red due to having cannabis (ganja). His eight years old son is roaming around. He is wearing a pant which is loose at the waist so he is grabbing the pant from one of his hand. He helps his father in his job. He does the small chores. He is quite a sweet kid.
Anu feels to yawn leisurely. Damn! What the hell she is thinking. How come a dead person yawn? But in fact, she feels to do that. She feels very tired, a lot of serious sleep to be done. She feels quite jittery whether she can sleep with her bruised body after the postmortem. Now, whatever, happens nobody can stop her from sleeping. But why they are making this delay? Whatever they want to do, do it and just finish it.
A bird is calling continuously, an unknown bird, may be looking for its mate. There is eagerness in its voice. It’s flying from one branch to another branch restlessly. The leaves of almond tree spreads like umbrella and stirring in the wind. The leaves fold and next moment unfolds. People sit under the shadow of this tree to take rest.
And that was the last time when Anu saw her mother crying sitting on the prayer rug and supplicating for her recovery even in lieu of her own life. Her mother took great care of her and she recovered soon
A group of ten to twelve young boys and girls come into the room, all wearing the white aprons. Why they were making the delay now it is clear to her. This is the autopsy class for the medical students and she is the guinea pig today. The folded mat’s fold is unfolded. The naked body is revealed. Anu could see the embarrassing expression on the faces of the students. The nakedness is beautiful and embarrassing at the same time varying with the time and situation.
Though a person lives inside his/her body but whole life he/she avoids it, doesn’t accept it. Nobody talks about the body except when they fall sick or in case of pregnancy. The body is a vast chapter in the book of life. The heart also resides inside this body. The people love their bodies but expressing those feelings is uncalled for. The formal question, “How are you?” actually means how is your body but still people feel shy to talk about body. Talking about the demands of the body is a far fetch idea. This is one of the points where people keep their feelings suppressed. The matter of good and evil is also centered on this body.
The lone bird seems to find out its mate. The anxious call of the bird is now subsidized. The fallen almonds on the ground are pecked by the crow. The son of Nepal dome by holding his pant with one hand shoo away the crow by other hand. He starts looking for a piece of the brick to break the shell of almond. Who knows how much time they will take in this autopsy? She feels very sleepy. Being dead, she feels quite good, at least she can go anywhere in her mind. Living persons have no such freedom. They are imprisoned in a prison, maybe that’s constructed by the self or others. They are always living with invisible fritters! The Nepal dome is coming towards her with a hammer and a chisel in his hands. Still the ancient way of doing the autopsy prevails here.
The girls are feeling more discomfort than the boys. Anu has a beautiful body. Well constructed and shapely. The color of skin is like ripe wheat. The head is full of jet black hair. The lower abdomen below naval is a little bit swelled, there is light fat there but it enhances her beauty. She has hairless, creaseless and very immaculate arms and thighs. Nepal dome by holding her hair and with a jerk placed a wooden plank under her shoulder. It seems, at first they will smash the skull. Anu saw the use of this type of wooden plank during “qurbani eid”.
Anu feels the urge to massage her lower abdomen. But again feels very sorry for her own inability to do that. Will the tiny child in her womb understand all this? The body which is target of all negligence by the human; in the same body the presence of a life has unending questions, even if the same is created through love and affection. It must be created through the traditional social system otherwise it is not accepted. The life which is created sheer out of love has no place in this society.
The child was alive even few more hours after the death of Anu. She started feeling the child’s movement and that very moment.
Anu, Anuradha was a twenty-one years old lively girl. She had dreams in her eyes. She was a brave girl. She was an inspiration to her classmates and juniors. The girl who used to keep everyone entertains by her singing and dancing at different functions, now she is lying dead, at a mat, in the morgue. Who knew, a talented girl like her would commit such an undesirable act? Her mother said, “before knowing her act why didn’t she see her dead”. Mothers are like these; they will utter these words and then feel tremendously sorry for that.
From her very childhood, she saw that her mother had very rare emotional outbursts. Even in adverse situations she didn’t show her emotions. She seemed to be a very strong woman. Anu didn’t see her laughing or crying any time. But she always supported Anu’s studies and creative pursuits. Her mother wanted that she should be something big when she grew up. When she was a student of class eight, she fell sick and her mother became very worried. And that was the last time when Anu saw her mother crying sitting on the prayer rug and supplicating for her recovery even in lieu of her own life. Her mother took great care of her and she recovered soon. She knew her mother loved her a lot.
Nepal dome’s son saw this with unconcerned casual eyes and put the kernel of the almond in his mouth. This is nothing new, for him this scene is very familiar. In reality, even after death there is no freedom from the prison!
Anu truly loved Mohim from the core of her heart. Is it possible to love someone superfluously and untruthfully? Anu didn’t want to make her parents unhappy but she couldn’t resist Mohim. Is it the only important thing in life? Why the people react so much on this aspect? Love, affection, intimate physical relation, pregnancy, these all are the small fraction of life. Besides these, there are so many things to ponder. If something like this happens then why the other prospective things of the person turns into zero? Why the person would be persecuted and oppressed? The people have many more things to offer to the country, society and the world at large. Why only through this act people are judged in the society? They had to stand on the pedestal of justice. For any other crime the same hate is not shown to the people. Really it is peculiar and it demands a strong pondering! Anu’s chest is opened and all the organs of the chest and abdomen are preserved separately. When the womb is opened and they found a fetus there; students have surprises on their faces. Everyone’s face shows the sadness at the same time. Suddenly one girl goes out of the room by covering her face with two palms. It seems she is nervous.
Anu, now see her daughter, see her with the fulfillment of her heart. If everything went in a smooth way then she would grow up and would play and laugh. And one day she would get pregnant and everyone would have said, “Why wouldn’t she die rather living such a disgraceful life”, but the girl wouldn’t think like that. She would have thought that she and her child had the right to live, Anu also though in the same way. The white apron clad middle aged teacher was telling to students what type of signs would be visible if someone committed suicide by hanging herself. The girl who went out of the room re-entered, she became nervous and that’s visible on her face.
Suddenly there was shouting and commotion outside of the morgue and the teacher had to stop the teaching and she went out. Mohim and his family’s other members have surrounded the teacher.
Nepal dome’s son saw this with unconcerned casual eyes and put the kernel of the almond in his mouth. This is nothing new, for him this scene is very familiar. In reality, even after death there is no freedom from the prison!
(Translated from Bengali by Haikal Hashmi)
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